United with Dan on a Mission

2.4 Career Cross-roads

From a very young age, I dreamed of becoming a pilot. My fascination for aeroplanes was deep-rooted and nothing would or could stand in my way. I spent many hours watching documentaries on aeroplanes; from how they were designed, developed and manufactured, to pilot training and dogfights. If for some unlikely reason I could not become a pilot, I would study aeronautical engineering and focus on becoming as renowned as Mr Boeing. I was passionate, ambitious and determined to achieve my goal and by the start of high school, I was confident that everything was working out perfectly, and my goal was well within my reach, but…

Even despite all the traumatic events of high school, particularly with regard to that fateful bus accident and the consequences that followed, I remained focussed and more determined than ever before that I would persevere to make my dream a reality. What had previously been my strongest areas became my worst nightmare. My academics had suffered and I really struggled with Maths and Science in particular. By grade 10 we had subject choices. I chose to keep on with Maths and Science, determined to master them. These two subjects were not negotiable if I was to reach my goal of becoming a pilot. I spent sleepless nights; endured countless people around me telling me to give up. One of my teachers insulted my Mom for refusing to accept the fact that I was “brain-damaged” and for allowing me to continue with Science; I was led to believe that they were making life as horrible for me as possible (one of them being a pastor’s wife…). I even believed that they sabotaged my work, because they wanted me to quit, just so that I wouldn’t bring their class or grade averages down. If anything, though, this idea only made me more stubborn and determined to carry on; adamant and even defiant if needs be, but never to the detriment of other students. So despite everything, I gritted my teeth and pushed through, passing each year only by the skin of my teeth.

Now I was nearing the end of my final/matric year. Mid-year exams had not gone well, and my ‘bubble’ was starting to burst. I had barely passed – my Science marks were just not good enough to do anything with, and my dreams lay in tatters. I saw no way of becoming a pilot; private lessons were unaffordable and any kind of finical aid, support programs and even the air force was beyond me for two major reason – my skin colour and my marks. I had tried to do cricket umpiring as an alternative, but despite scoring 92% in the South African Umpires Association B levels, I was unable to go on to write A levels, because I first needed to umpire a set number of club games. The logistics of achieving this amid racial quotas, while not being classified as ‘previously disadvantage’ due skin colour, proved to be near impossible. I had even gone for counselling, desperately investigating and searching for an alternative dream to chase, but to no avail. Instead I felt like a ghost in a shell, just going through the paces day by day with everything I tried ending up at a dead end. I had run out of options. I was lost, alone; the colour had left the world around me. My hopes and shear will that had carried me this far, was like a candle’s last flicker of light near total darkness.

I couldn’t see it then, but I know now, God had not deserted me. At the beginning of grade 10, I.T. (Information Technology) together with Maths and Science, had seemed like the obvious subject choices for my future career. Sadly, by grade 11, I.T. had quickly become as problematic as Science, and I realised that I would not be getting the teacher support I felt I needed. This led me to take-up Geography in its place. Besides, map work and weather-knowledge would be much more valuable to a want-to-be-pilot, than computer programming in java script. I loved Geography classes, the content was so interesting and it was presented in a way that made me want to learn more. (Shout-out to Mr Fröhlich) It rekindled my love for learning that had died somewhere along the line, and it soon became my favourite subject – especially after being awarded for best marks in the grade (for 2 years in a row) despite having missed a year’s work. So now, as I enthusiastically dove into my next study session for my September Geography exam, I came across this key word: ‘Sociology.’ The definition in the book was: ‘study of the functioning of human society and culture.’ This caught my attention as a significant area of self-study had involved learning about the history, cultures and the languages of various groups of people (at the time mostly British English, Japanese, Korean, French, Scottish and Irish.) I then did some further research into ‘Sociology’ and ‘Sociologists’ and a new idea was born… (The Royal Library of Alexandria mentioned in Chapter one.) I spoke with my mother about it. She said that I should pray about it. She certainly would, and had been praying that God would direct my path and show me the way to go, in a manner that I would know “without a shadow of a doubt, that His hand is in it”. I mumbled a prayer before going to sleep…

After completing the exam, some flyers were handed out advertising Cornerstone Institute. I had never heard of them before, but right there in the centre of the page in big bold bright orange letters, was the word: SOCIOLOGY.

I learned that Cornerstone Institute was a private university that claimed to uphold Christian morals and ethics. It had recently opened a CLC (Community Learning Centre) at Worcester City Church only about 2 blocks away from our home, lead by Francois Fouche. ‘Goose-bump moments for Mom!’ I, on the other hand, shrugged it off as purely co-incidence… but I had found some direction. I could study for a B.A. Sociology degree from home and attend classes via the internet, either from home or from the CLC. This was not only affordable, but attending classes would be flexible and accommodating, especially if I had a headache or didn’t feel well. All I needed was to graduate from high school with a ‘bachelor’s pass’, which I achieved after re-writes (because of a broken wrist – from Horsing around [2.3]).

Looking back now I can really see God’s involvement as far back as my switch to Geography. If I hadn’t made that change, Sociology would probably never have come onto the radar. And the realisation that the Cornerstone CLC had literally opened in Worcester, just for me (it closed again shortly after I had registered, due to lack of other students), is mind-blowing!! For God to have worked all that out, even just for one student – just for me!! I have to give thanks to God for it! Reflecting now, I realise that it’s a perfect example of how God doesn’t just love people as ‘the humans he created,’ (which was my thought pattern for so long) but cared enough about me as an individual to do that!  Our God is truly worthy of our praise and deserves our admiration!